Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
