shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
