We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
