drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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