Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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