i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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