His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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