Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize