used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
