I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
