tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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