Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
