I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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