Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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