just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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