I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
