What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
