the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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