The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
A+ Viking dick
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
