Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
