It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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