Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
