so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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