I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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