Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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