ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
