I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
