You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just google imaged poop.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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