Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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