and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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