dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
