I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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