Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
