you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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