just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
