C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize