Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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