All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
