My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
