ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
