You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
