Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
