Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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