Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
