Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
