do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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