There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
