you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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