My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize