Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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