i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
