dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
