I need help removing her.
i just google imaged poop.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
