Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
