So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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