Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
