I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
