that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
