He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
