honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
