Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
