Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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